If you are a newbie to nonmonogamy, you may not be aware that this is actually an explosive and controversial question to some people.
SwingLifeStyle recently addressed this issue and came down strongly on the side of nonmonogamous swinging as strictly NSA (No Strings Attached).
Likewise, virtually all polyamory activists come down on the same side and use it to explain the difference between polyamory and lifestyle/swinging. These poly activists posit that the emotional connection is first and sex is entirely secondary.
While respecting this point of view, both views are far too rigid. These views are really more a hope or desire than practical since life doesn’t follow a neat and tidy script. eople actually behave.
For example, a poly wife meets someone on a business trip, they click, and have a wonderful time including torrid sex for three days. Has she violated some Holy Rule of Polyamory? Sure looks like a hookup.
And how about Bob and Carol, Ted and Alice? Since the movie came out, they’ve spent time together regularly for several years. Carol and Alice aren’t ready to trade their husbands, but each has a special connection with Bob and Ted. Is this really NSA?
The reality on the ground for real people is not the reality of Hollywood, the Adult Entertainment Industry or Polyamory activists. People have relationships on a spectrum of emotion.
So, here’s my take on the difference between lifestyle swingers and polyamorists: nothing.
This is not irreverence. This is reality. Bob and Carol, Ted and Alice are not purely NSA and haven’t been for years.
The woman who hooked up on a business trip didn’t violate some polyamory emotion connection rule.
In each case, people found themselves in situations because emotional connections with other people exist on a spectrum. You love your parents, your partners, your children and your pets differently. You have one set of feelings on a first meet or date than you have several years into a relationship. This is entirely normal, and whether “swingers are polyamorous” depends on the people involved.
Thus the answer to question is “maybe”.
