When comes to this topic, I cannot say every guy wants a threesome, but I am quite sure that every guy has a fantasy about a threesome and 9 out of 10 would love a threesome after they tried.
If your guy asked you if you wanted to have a threesome recently, or he have asked you about that before, I am quite sure, you started asking yourself a brunches of questions, such as “why does he say that? Is it because he thinks I cannot satisfy him in bed? Does he think that our sex life is lacking of something to excite him?” Or you may start wondering “Am I not attractive to him anymore? Am I in bad shape recently?” And things like those, etc.
Trust me, girls, it has nothing to do with your sexual skills or your attractiveness declines (or maybe a little bit), but I have to say, your guy actually have a fantasy of having a threesome with you ever since the moment he saw you hugging one of your hot female friends. And he probably have been dreaming about that long time before asking you. Why? Because it is just guys’ human nature. A normal guy always has a desire of sleeping with other women, even they are madly in love with you, and most exciting fantasy for them is definitely a threesome with you and the other woman. It has nothing to do with love, he can deeply love you, but he can have sex with other women with no emotion connected. Of course, I am not an expert of biologist, I cannot explain the reasons from a biological perspect. I just know that according to my experience and what other guys tell me.
If that is the case, then what should I do about his desire? Should I allow him to sleep with other women? Or should I have a threesome with him even though I don’t feel like having one? My answer is always “ask yourself”. Ask yourself what are your limits, what will make you feel most comfortable. I cannot tell you what to do, because everyone has different needs. I can only share my experience and my opinions with you. And here I am going to share my first experience about my guy asking my to have a threesome. As for me, my answer back to then was “Yes!” He can sleep with other women, but NO for a threesome. To be honest, it really bothered me at that time, I was confused for a while, I kept asking myself the same question “what should I do” during the time. And after a serious consideration, there were two options for me:
First, told him that “HELL NO! If you really love me, if you want to be with me, you should be faithful to me.”
Second, respect what he is, understand he is a nonmonogamy for all his life even before we met. Let him do what he desires for, but need to set up some boundaries of course.
Guess which one I chose? Yup, you are right. I chose the latter. Of couse, I was not out of my mind, after balancing both sides and after some discussion with my guy, I allowed him to sleep with other women, but he had to following some rules we both agreed with. And of couse, my guy was quite smart and he had a lot of experience in dealing with this kind of suitation, if you are a guy and you are reading this article, you might consider of copying his methods, and I will invite him to share his methods about how to talk your partner into letting you sleep with other women.
Here were the rules:
1. He can sleep with other women but with no emotional connection. And those women can only be his friends with benefits and make sure his FWB knows and understands this situation, so that there will be no hard feelings for both parties.
*For me, what made me I feel uncomfortable about him having sex with other women was insecurity about losing him. For me, this can make sure that his FWB won’t steal him away from me.
2. Always put me into his first priority.
*As we all know, jealousy creates drama, drama will lead to fight between us. What brings you jealousy, comparison! It worked for me, this rule made me feel superior, and helped me stop making comparisons with the other woman.
3. He let me choose his friends with benefits. And I can have my FWB too to be fair.(I actually chose not to at that time, but I did have some fun experience later)
*I considered this was his smartest move. At first, it was quite difficult for me finding him this friends with benefits. I chose to start with dating apps, but as you can imagine 10 times out of 10 times I failed. Because I had to talk to those women before hand, and made sure that they understood the whole situation, and understood the rules between my guy and me. And for those women in dating apps, every one wanted to date, wanted to have a serious relationship, which did not surprised me at all. If I were them, I would have the same reactions. At last, I found serval websites for swingers. And that was the first time, I heard about “swinging”, which I am not going to talk about in this article. If you have interest in this topic, you can google it, or you can click HERE, this was the link to the website I found at the end of this article. And yes, that was where I found his first FWB (a swinging couple and my guy had a MMF threesome) during our relationship. Surprisingly, it worked for me, there was no hard feeling for me, even though I have never experienced this before, and I was a monogamous person during the whole of my life before that. And I just realized that I forgot to introduce my background information before hand, I am an Asian at my early 30s. And I was raised in a conservative family, my parents never talked about sex with me when I was a teenage, I guess that explained a lot why I struggled so much about my guy’s request back then.
Ok, above it was first experience about handling my guy’s request of a threesome. Of course, we experienced more and we have more exploration of our sexuality later. I will share more with you, sis! XOXO 💋
