Third Wheel Stress: Discrimination Against Single Male Swingers in the lifestyle

This month we have a guest opinion articles from "Meagan" about her thoughts on discrimination against single males swingers. She raises a number of interesting questions during her article.

Is it possible to deal with the stress of being the “third wheel” in the swingers aspect?

Let’s face it not everyone always has that special one in their life. That doesn’t mean that the search for fun and excitement has to end. If you were in relationship where you and your partner were swingers and that relationship ended, that doesn’t especially mean that the thrill to swing goes with your ex and the coffee pot when he/she leaves. It is in fact, a lifestyle, not a fad.

Most people would feel intimidated coming into a couples relationship as the single person. You are entering something alone that has been shared by two people long before you came into the picture. Things are always easier when the buddy system is put into play.

Every man has fantasies of two women at once sometime in their lives. Maybe their wife/girlfriend and another woman? Maybe just two women in general? None the less every man has fantasized.

Would it be safe to assume that women do not fantasize of two men at once? I don’t think so because if a man fantasizes anything, women must fantasize just as equally.

Why are single men looked down upon so harshly in the swing lifestyle as apposed to single women? I’m sure if you ask any single man living in the SwingLifeStyle, they will tell you that they aren’t getting as many hits online as the single women. Is it that society looks at a man having two women as more politically correct as apposed to a woman having two men?

The main outlet for the single male swinger is meeting people on SwingLifeStyle and “wife/girlfriend banging.” Why is it that men are only put into that aspect? Could it be that most men aren’t sexually confident enough to be in the sexual situation to have sex with one woman at the same time or even in the same bed at separate times? The unconfident, robust, macho man places such an emphasis on how they are “not gay.” Well if a man is indeed having sex with a woman and there just happens to be a guy there that does in no way make him gay.

Women are the power house of this country weather anyone wants to believe it or not. Women from Helen of Troy to Sonia Sotomayor are ultimate proof that women are just as big of a power house as any notable male figure in the world. Women ran the United States of America’s entire factory line during the second world war when all of the men were fighting overseas. In my opinion it’s safe to say that women are not scared to do anything a man can do such as having sex with two men at once.

Could it be the man in the relationship is the one shooting down the idea of a single man coming into the sexual aspect of their relationship? Many men overlook the fact that they could to also be single one day and not be ready to leave the SwingLifeStyle. Or could it be the woman’s fear of the unknown that’s keeping the second man out of the bed room? Is intimidation the key factor in the stigma of the single man in the bedroom?

Women have been portrayed as the “givers” in life. When a man expresses interest in bringing the single female into the bedroom, the woman in the relationship feels as if it’s her duty to please him. During sex most women will bump pelvises with their male partner until her hip breaks just to make sure he has an orgasm. When have you ever seen a woman or a man stop having sex because she just can’t climax? Women are pressured to “satisfy their man.” When will men feel the need to satisfy their woman enough to accept the second man into the bedroom?