Swinger Dating Sites: Couple can't connect.

Question: We tried to use several dating sites, including the dating site you recommended, but we can't seem to connect with anyone offline. We have tried changing our profile, our pics, and nothing seems to work. What are we doing wrong?  

Answer: We get an astounding volume of mail on this. Since you included your member names on three (3) different swinger dating sites, we can address several problems at once.

First, each account was a "free trial account" or a poor choice of swinger dating sites.

Free Trial Accounts: By their very nature, Free trial accounts are limited. Take perennial winner, SwingLifeStyle for example: There is a limit to the number you can receive. By the time you respond to a message on a free trial account, it may be several weeks old - especially if you have a smoking hot profile. On your free SDC account, you can send messages but cannot read any replies until you pay for a membership. Pick and pay if you want to play.

NOTE: Even if they could contact you, most swingers won't even bother because a) they cannot get in touch with you, b) they do not take you seriously, or c) your account is a front for a scam (especially true for single females - "I would love to come visit you Single Guy/Couple, can you send me some money for airfare/to fix my car/buy groceries for my kids/whatever?"). Seriously: If you cannot afford 10 bucks a month, do you think anyone wants to meet you and pay for your drinks? $10 bucks a month and unlimited sex is a bargain made in heaven.

Poor Choice of Swingers Dating Site: On the third swinger dating site (which shall not be named), you picked a site that boldly proclaims that it had -0- people online every time we accessed it, and "over 2,312 members." In the whole world. You could pay top dollar on The Dead Swingers Dating Site, and you would probably never hook up with anyone. In contrast, SwingLifeStyle has 5,830 people online and SDC has 8753 (most in the west and overseas) as this is being written. Since you live in lower Alabama, pony up and pay for a SwingLifeStyle membership.

Second, you may wish to try a more descriptive profile. we kin al rite like weer illitrit and get down and dirty with the best of them. "LQQKN' fo sum bitches!" is not the best pick up line: The general reaction among the women was generally in the category of "Oh, hell no!" This isn't a judgment about you or your preferences in the lifestyle, just an observation that "dick shots" and people-less motorcycles combined with "LQQKN' fo sum bitches!" is not working for you. All of the women who help create Newbie Corner are absolutely convinced that both of you are inexperienced, shy and afraid to be yourself because you are new to the lifestyle it is intimidating. They are also convinced he wrote it and that she should write the next one or, better, the two of you should write it together.

Two final points:

1) Those "dick shots" on each of your swinger dating site profiles are the first visual a hookup sees. Think about this: On two of the swinger dating sites that you belong to, potential partners see couple, couple, single, half of a couple, single, couple . . . and then a dick. Swingers generally do not want to know your dick until they get to know you. We are not trying to be harsh, but understand that "dick shots" are the kiss of death when it comes to contacting other swingers on any swinger dating sites.

2) Generally, picture profiles are far more effective than profiles without one. You would have far more success with a back shot or a full body shot, even with the face blurred to protect privacy. Likewise, ditch the photo of the motorcycle - unless one of you is posing with it.