Question: Will going to a swingers club in Florida help us find a girl for a threesome? My wife wants to have a threesome with another woman, and then another man. Another man is easy, but how do we find another girl for a threesome?

Answer: This used to be the number one question we would get, only a few short years ago. With the explosive growth of people asking us how to share my wife with another man, this is actually refreshing. Finding another girl for a threesome is probably one of THE questions in the lifestyle. As you noted, finding another man is perceived as being much easier. The reason we say perceived is because the way that men and women connect is oh, so, different!

Culturally, our dating rituals dictate that men are supposed to take the initiative; women are supposed to be passive. A quick look at online dating shows that this is true in the online world as in the real world. This is also true with swingers as well. Just look at dating sites such as SwingLifeStyle, and you will see ad after ad seeking single females and ad after ad asking single men not to write. This reinforces the perception that finding a single female for a threesome is hard: Actually, it isn't. What you are seeing is merely a reflection of our western society's cultural biases and preferences. In many parts of the world, just the opposite is true: The apparent, and in fact, actual supply of females exceeds the demand. Here, the apparent supply of males (both in and out of the lifestyle) exceeds the demand due to customs, not actual numbers of available partners.

You find a single female for your threesome the same way you would find a single female outside of the lifestyle – you ask her. This is how our culture dictates that men and women meet, thus the magic formula: You ask her. Some women will take the initiative, however, our culture frowns on such fairness. Therefore, ask and you shall receive.

This simple and easy to use method fails for most people simply because they cannot stand rejection. Fear sets in, and they want their dream 'unicorn' to handed to them on a silver platter. It just doesn't work that way. No risk, no reward.

Yes, there are far more single men on SwingLifeStyle than there are single females. However, men are supposed to be the initiators in our culture. They are often the adult boys who are still showing off hoping to attract the girls like a peacock with its feathers. This is also why so many can be rude - they are acting out a role, and often don't know any different. Thus, men are more likely than women to get a profile and put it online. However, this is not a show stopper, just a fact of life. Don't let it intimidate you – go for it! Your threesome with another woman depends on it.

All you really need are some strategies. Here's one for successful threesomes with a single woman: Let the female partner initiate contact, use a picture (and not a crotch shot), and let the ladies lead. If you push your wife or the other woman into something they are not really that into, how is that going to work out for you? You know the answer.

So, seriously, if you want to find another girl for a threesome, go online and ask her. The absolute worst thing that can happen is that she will say 'no.' You will probably not drop dead, and if you ask one hundred and have a 3% success rate, you two are going to have a lot of fun.